so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
