Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
