I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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