I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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