Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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