"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
