There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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