do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
