What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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