Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Also, beer. Big fan.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
