FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
BRING THE BAGELS
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
