it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
