Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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