There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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