I am spending my child support on dildos
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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