Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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