i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
is wine microwaveable?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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