You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Too much gin, very little bucket
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
