just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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