Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
