I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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