Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
this will be a night to untag.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
