is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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