Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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