You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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