I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
