you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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