I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
our cab driver is having phone sex.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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