it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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