We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
