he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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