You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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