Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
it's like heaven, but drunker
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize