evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
