You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
