I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
