You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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