I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
