We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
