I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
