I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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