haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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