I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
accomplished twins. life is a go
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Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
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Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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