whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
