Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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