she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
