Whatcha textin bout Willis?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
