i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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