Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
either way he was missing a nipple.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
