i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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