I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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