The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
