You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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