is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
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who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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