I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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