The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We are two peas in an std pod
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
